SOS

I am so tired of hearing "You're a bitch."
 I get it. You can stop telling me that I am unapproachable. Or that I look mean.
 Have you ever thought that this is something that I already know because every person before you has said it to me too? Do you think this is how I WANT to be?

 My whole life I have worked on pushing people away so they don't have to deal with my problems. I have always been judged because of my weight, height, facial expression, etc. So I beat people to the punch. I just accepted the things people have told me. I am a bitch. I am unaproachable. I hate every female. I look mean. This is me.

THIS isn't me, though. I love meeting new people and helping people and making people feel good and paying it forward and surprising people and bringing people together by planning events. I love have friends and I love when people feel comfortable to vent to me or look for my advice. I love feeling important. Who doesn't? THIS has just become my autopilot. THIS has turned into my initial reaction.
 THIS is really just a silent cry for help.
 THIS is my SOS.