Just in Case I go to Soon.
I hear you laughing in the next room. You guys are having the time of your lives. Babbling and carrying on. These will be the memories I hope you look back on and cherish.
I’m sitting in this room falling apart, desperately hoping you won’t remember this part. I hope you remember the days I was up and moving around with you and playing with you. And not when I was laying in bed gasping for air because my chest was so tight.
I hope you don’t remember the days that I slept for several days straight because my body was so weak from fighting to keep me alive. Alive and strong I should say. I want to be able to run and jump with you girls. You have such a young mom. I should be full of life.
I’m not ready to leave you...I’m really not. But every flare that comes my way I feel like I’m loosing an ever long battle.
I don’t want your only memories to be of me laying in bed exhausted because that’s what I’ve become. An exhausted mother.
You can’t see how hard I’m fighting, but know that I am.
Know that I am fighting to be with you for a long time. You’ll hear people in passing say they know someone who has lupus and they’re okay. And you’ll wonder why I’m not strong enough to be okay.
But baby, everyone doesn’t have the same battle with this disease. Mommy was given a bit of a rough road.
So baby listen please,
Incase mommy gets really sick. Know that I did everything in my power to leave an ever lasting mark on this world so that you could always feel the good that I did.
Know that when you smile at each other you are experiencing my smile. Those big brown eyes that your youngest sister has our mine. Look into her eyes when you miss mine. Listen to your oldest sister sing to be reminded of my voice. And when you miss my sassy mouth, because you will. Call up your middle sister. She’ll be all the sass you need.
Know that no matter where this journey with the disease leads us...
You are enough & you are deserving of all the love in the world.
I'm Raye. Above all things I am a mother of 3 girls, a bomb ass wife to my husband, and a lupus warrior. In 2018 I received some devastating news. I was diagnosed with lupus. My life has been a world wind since then. I've found that i thrive the best when I am empowering other women and building an empowerment team. In August of 2018 I launched my first boudoir photography company that was full dedicated to empowering women. Not just through boudoir but through actually assisting them in their self love journey. I realized just how much I enjoyed making them realize just how bad ass they truly are. I realized how good I was at it and quickly rose to success. Within a year I have written self love books, boudoir guides, and became an awarded, published 6-figured photographer. I currently now use the knowledge that I've gained and I use this to empower even more women now. I do this in many ways through the art of boudoir, through makeup, or through teaching them how to be successful 6-figured business owners. I may have Lupus, but Lupus doesn't get to have me!! Follow my journey with #lupus at akronboudoirphotography.com
IG: Boudoirbyraye Purchase my book " A Self Love Journey | A Personal Experience " on amazon.