Hi, my name is Brittny. Im 22 and weigh as much as the average 11-12 year old, and im as tall as the average teenager. I only start with this because this is what made me have to learn to love myself again.
I have always been the tiny one that got all of the snarky remarks and questions. People would tell me to go eat a cheeseburger or ask if I had an eating or thyroid disorder as if it were their business. I'll just start off letting everyone know that NO I am not sick, I don't have an eating disorder, thyroid disorder or any of that. The only disorder I have is anxiety, but that's for a much different reason, other than that. I'm. Just. Small.
Over the years the remarks people have made about my weight have gotten worse. Ive even been told by a woman that she would hate to look like me and she had to bring her daughter to see how skinny I was, and that comment was made directly to my face. I got over that comment though.
Then a few months ago, my husband and I got to have a night out without our two kids, and I got dressed up did my makeup and felt amazing! That was up until I went into a store and a women loudly told whoever she was with how stick thin I was and to hurry up and look. . .
Typically I would have walked away, but I didn't . I turned around went up to her and felt the need to defend myself to a woman who didn't even know me. After I walked away, I started to bawl my eyes out. Her comment caused ME to get to myself and in turn ruined my makeup, my mood and destroyed my self confidence, yet again.
I decided very recently that I wouldn't let anyones comments allow myself to hate the body I was given, because as much as I wish I could blame all the people who have said rude hurtful things about me, I am the only one who allows that to affect me.
So a few weeks ago I won a boudoir shoot with Raye and Denise. I was excited but terrified that I'd hate what I would see. But a few days after the shoot when I got to see my photos, I fell in love with the woman I saw in the photos.
Yes, my legs are stick thin, I don't have a large chest or butt. But I looked confident and I looked BEAUTIFUL.
I used to tell everyone I looked like a little boy, I haven't since. Because as much as we as humans dictate that a woman should have a certain body type, thats not at all what being a woman is about.
I decided I deserve to feel beautiful every single day and have been working on loving myself for who I am even more since then.
I have bad days where I wish I could change things on myself, but on those days I look for at least one things I love. Whether its about the woman I am or something I love about my body, because I deserve to love myself and I deserve to know regardless of what others think I am a beautiful person not only on the inside but on the outside as well, and everyone no matter gender, race, age, size etc. deserves to feel that way every single day.